Is it me, or has the nice weather brought out the retreads? And by that, I mean retreads on bicycles. Come on people, lets think this through. London is crowded, we *can* make this work.
1) Keep left except to pass. This is the most basic of concepts.
1b) You *own* that pass. If you've moved up on the right, you are responsible to get on by and back left in a safe and effective manor. See that solid object ahead, the left track passes around that. If you've set yourself up in the right track, then you're headed way into the roadway. Is there room? No. WELL FIX THAT BECAUSE THAT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You cannot expect the cycle in the left track to deviate/slow/stop just because you screwed the pooch. Get over yourself.
2) Swerving without checking first to avoid a metal plate that probably doesn't even amount to a bump anyway is, well, selfish, foolish and antisocial. If you werren't paying enough attention to carve a controlled line around it, take your damned medicine, but don't make it my problem by swerving into me.
3) Your hand signal does NOT magically grant you the right-of-way. It's a required courtesy, at least, but it doesn't give you the right to then cut someone off.
4) The Boris Bike network is doing a tremendous disservice to the visiting public by not making it INFINATELY CLEAR that, unless otherwise indicated, you are NOT allowed to ride on the pavement (sidewalk/footpath/etc). This should be boldly indicated on every Boris Bike.
5) If Dog blessed you with gears, why don't you use them?! So you have this wannabe French Alpine race bike (in London, really?) and you have to come to a (frequent) stop, and you blunder your way to the front. Why don't you people downshift?! Yeah, sure, in a quarter mile you'll be pretty quick (just in time to stop again), but until then you're SODDING IN THE WAY. Did you think that through?
6) Picture this; 29 May 2012, morning commute, CS8 eastbound Grosvenor Road approaching and then at the interchange with Vauxhall Bridge (A202), female cyclists (descriptive, not relevant), flowing skirt, long ringletted brown hair, rose coloured shades. So far so good (although the rose coloured shades turns out to be quite ironic, wait for it). But then the problems begin; earbuds, no helmet, U-lock loosely slung from the left grip swinging wildly, this optimistic individual approached the 4-wide interchange, forced her way to the front of the pack by sharing a lane with a car, and then tried to dodge across two lanes to the turning lane, but the light changed as she did this and she's lucky to be alive today. Way way wrong in so many ways. Should have occupied the turn lane at the back of the pack of stopped cars and navigated to the front from there. So many people live in fear of being mugged and then do this kind of crap? Were you thinking?
6b) At the same interchage as above, no cyclist turning right onto the Vauxhall Bridge has any business being anywhere other than the left side of the left-hand right-turning lane. Period.
There. I feel much better now!